About a month ago I made the move from BlackBerry to Android, with the help of the Samsung Galaxy S2 I chose for my upgrade. It took less than a minute for me to become an Android fan, and in those seconds I also got my gmail up and running. After a few weeks, I was so smitten that I decided to get the Galaxy Tab 10.1 too. Which may just be my favourite thing in the world right now.

There are still endless debates on Android vs iOS; Galaxy Tab vs iPad 3, etc etc. Yes, iPad has the 4G thing. Yes, the screen may be marginally better. But for me, I honestly don’t see how I could want anything more from a tablet and phone. The touchscreen is amazles, the layout is techtard-proof, the software is seamless and the battery life is surprisingly good (especially on the tab). As for the Google Play store, the apps selection is almost overwhelming, especially coming from BlackBerry.

My favourite app on the tablet so far is the Kindle one – last night my tab battery was flat after I forgot to charge it, and I wanted to continue reading the book I had purchased via the app. After getting ready to sulk or read something else, I went to the ‘archive synch’ feature on my actual Kindle, and the book was there. Not only was it ready to read, but it had saved my place too. Maybe I’m easy to please, but that was seriously cool!

In terms of the phone, I love the alarm clock, camera, multiple desktops, message preview bar, apps and easy of use. I almost miss the different notifications that were on my BB, but the joy of not having that effing indicator light more than makes up for that. I also love the app synch – if I check email on my phone or tablet (or even main gmail on laptop), I don’t get annoying notifications across all my other devices. Ditto for Twitter – whichever I read first will send notifcation. Facebook is a bit slow, but messages and notifcations are a lot easier to access compared to BB. As for the voice activation feature… Siri has some good competition!

Both phone and tablet easily fit into my bag, and the covers for both are just as pretty as the gadgets themselves. If I really wanted to (and I may just want to when winter hits proper) I could work in bed, with access to all of my Google and regular docs, IM clients and everything else I need. I could watch movies all day in bed, read in bed and just about go anywhere with my precious gadgets.

After 2 years of BlackBerry, it’s like upgrading to a Porsche after driving a Golf. All I need now is to upgrade software to ICS and I will be sorted!

May has somehow arrived, along with winter. Maybe it’s part of being a May baby, but I adore winter. Coats, scarves, jeans, jerseys, fluffy pajamas, warm blankets, fireplaces and crisp chilly air make me feel happy. April has been a challenging month on many levels, but there have also been some awesome parts. I may have worked through my birthday, and deadlines were brutal. That’s what growing up is all about though, and I feel very blessed to be in a situation where I have too much rather than no work at all.

So, on to the good stuff. And there is rather a lot of really, really good stuff. Here is an overview:

* I got a new tattoo (see pic above) to match the one on my left wrist. The new one is also a weird Thai punctuation mark – this one is used in old documents for the end of a chapter. The left one is used for the end of a sentence or story. They balance out nicely and I like the symbolism.

* I moved over to Android and got a Samsung Galaxy S2. I love it so much that I am getting a Galaxy Tab as well, which should arrive this coming week. Compared to BlackBerry, it’s like going from a Golf to a Maserati. Love everything about it, especially the voice activated typing feature.

* I went back to my brunette roots. Well, not exactly back to natural colour, but close. It’s a warm chocolate brown, done with two different shades, and my highlights still come through. The multi-shade vibe works well, and it’s nice being dark again.

* My hair is almost long now. As it’s curly, it’s hard to notice growth much. My awesome hair stylist at HAND blowed it straightish after she did the colour, and it’s well past my shoulders now. The irony of this? After months of being patient and not cutting it, I’ve realised how annoying it is to wear it loose in this city – wind + long hair = disaster. Determined to grow it though, wind or not!

* I lost over 5kg in April. Not from gym (haven’t been in ages), or from trying. Not in an unhealthy way either – I think it is sheer nervous energy alone. Also, my appitite has almost vannished and aside from biscuits, I have gone off chips and junk food. Cheese, bread and pasta too for some reason.

* I made peace with my father. It’s too long and personal to share the whole story, but let’s just say things haven’t always been all that easy. My father had a very close call though, and that has given my whole family perspective. Including him. It’s sad that it takes a serious situation like that to shift things, but I am just glad to have things be ok.

I am sure there is other stuff, but still too tired and brain dead to think today. Having a belated birthday tea with family just now, and it’s my second full weekend off since the year began. Life is good, and just BEING and breathing and appreciating the little things has given me all the calm and zen I need. Roll on another manic month… I am ready!

As I will tell anyone who will listen, I have been infatuated with my Kindle ever since it arrived from Amazon last year. Before my Kindle, I was a sporadic reader. I read a great deal when I was a teenager, but somewhere along the path of jobs, freelancing and other such soul killers, I stopped reading as much. All of this changed when I got my beloved e-reader.

First, I went through a Jilly Cooper phase. Then a Dexter phase. That was followed by a Stephen King revival phase and a very extended vamp lit phase (yes, that phase included the Twilight books. Don’t judge!) along with some random books inbetween. Last month, I discovered Chuck Palahnuik. I am a late bloomer, and am also lazy. I never did get excited about actual books – most of mine were borrowed or stolen from various people throughout my life. With the Kindle, if you will pardon the sales pitch here, it was suddenly easy to get books. Switch wireless on, go to Kindle Store, find book, buy book, wait a minute or two to get book. Or, raid your cousin’s library and get hundreds of books. Easy peasy!

“Just for the record, the weather today is calm and sunny, but the air is full of bullshit.”

From the very first pages of Diary, I was entranced. Yes, the characters are epic messes that are somehow just like us. Yes, the plots are crazy and often hilarious. But that isn’t why I love Chuck. What I love about him are his words. That ability to turn something dark into something hysterical and wise and just so true.

Like this: “Just for the record, being smeared with shit and naked in the wilderness, spattered with pink vomit, this does not necessarily make you a real artist.” ~ Diary

And this: “Hysteria is only possible with an audience.” ~ Invisible Monsters

And also, this: “Being tired isn’t the same as being rich, but most times it’s close enough.” ~ Fight Club

I’m on Lullaby at the moment. Which is brilliant, but not as good as Invisible Monsters, Fight Club and Diary. Even if it does involve serial killers abusing a culling song, weird haunted houses and a dude with tiny parts of a model house embedded in his foot.

I can’t wait to finish this book so that I can start Survivor. And after that, another one. Until I have read them all, I can see this phase lasting even longer than the vamp phase.

Blue shark image via SharkExplorers.com

Ever since my shark cage diving experience last year, I’ve been dying to see more sharks. While cage diving was amazing, it was also somewhat limiting (read: frustrating) to be stuck in a cage. Obviously, free diving with Great whites is not an option though. So, when I came across the Blue and Mako Shark Dive yesterday, I got very, very excited.

Run by Shark Explorers, this dive is quite possibly my idea of heaven. Beautiful Blue sharks and zippy Makos, in the deep sea off Cape Point. No cage, just sharks, and a snorkel. As I haven’t gotten around to redoing my PADI course, I can’t do it on scuba, but apparently it is possible to do it on snorkel. The trip takes 8 people at the most, and getting to the dive site takes around two and a half hours. These waters are warm too, which means no freezing my ass off like I did in Gansbaai.

Mako shark image via SharkExplorers.com

I know that free diving with sharks is probably not everyone’s idea of fun, but for me, the thought alone makes me so thrilled I can’t stop thinking about it. At some point, I will get around to redoing my scuba course, but for now, I have to do this dive. HAVE to, in CAPS, because it is that awesome.

Fingers crossed, I WILL be swimming with sharks in the next month. If not end of this month, then sometime in March.

*squeeeeeee!*

You can head on over to the new blog to check it out, and if you like that sort of thing, feel free to bookmark it or leave a comment. I’m trying to make it practical, so adding tips and other resources for stress management and so forth. I am not posting under my real name (because I want to have a ‘free’ place to vent), but you’ll know it’s me.

Oh yes – the design is very basic at this point. Will see about a proper header soon, but for it’s purposes it will do for now.

Mosy on Down to The Quest for Zen

Between a mad work schedule and a total lack of energy, I have been slacking in a huge way over the past few months. “She’s let herself go” is one of the saddest statements ever, but that is pretty much what happened. I let myself go – not only my body and my fitness, but a lot of other important things too. I’m not sure what helped me reach the point where I decided enough was enough, but at the start of this month I got myself a personal trainer.

I loved muaythai and running, enjoyed yoga, tolerated shaolin and didn’t mind pilates too much. Gym is something I never quite got. Before I did muaythai, I was useless. Skinny, but totally unfit – I could barely run a few blocks without dying. My friend Ant (who was a trainer at the time) took me to gym once and the cycling alone was enough to make me never go back. When I was doing muaythai, gym became another way to sweat when I didn’t have class. Or before class, or after class on Saturdays, working out for 2 or more hours. Over the past post-muaythai years, gym was something I did when there was nothing else to do.

So call it a love hate relationship. What I have discovered now is that training with a professional is completely different from gymming on my own. Firstly, it is a commitment. I can change my training days, but I can’t just not go. Secondly, going at lunchtime has given me way more energy than going in the evenings or mornings. Thirdly, being at the mercy of a super fit trainer makes it impossible to slack off.

I go twice a week for now, and already I am noticing small differences. I am feeling stronger, and standing a bit taller. I still cringe in front of the massive gym mirrors, but it doesn’t matter as much. I am still feeling fat and ashamed for letting things get to this point, but that is also mattering less. Because I am getting back into it, and I am going to get my fitness back. The weight will go too, but feeling fit again is more important.

The best part? I have started jogging again. Even if it’s just once a week, it’s a start. With someone to motivate me until I can motivate myself, I know that the hard work will start to pay off over the course of the year. Maybe, just maybe, I will even be able to wear my favourite old jeans again this winter.

I know it will happen, one benchpress at a time!

So much I long to say, and so much that I can’t put into words.

There are still 11 days left to get through this month. Over 300 days to get through the rest of the year. I am already tired. My body is tired from the personal training that I signed myself up for earlier this month. My mind is tired from the seemingly endless deadlines that began the day I went back to work. My heart is tired from the constant battle against the bleakness that is always waiting to pounce. My entire being is tired from a week of dreaded insomomnia.

When things reach this sorry state of affairs, there are only two choices. Give up and let it all consume me, or push harder to find those last dregs of zen that I know are still somewhere inside me.

Quitting is not an option, not after all the hard work I have put in to keep my precious zen levels from drying up entirely. So that leaves fighting. Otters, jogs, Sims 3, vampire books, heart-to-hearts, intense gym sessions, cold Savannas on hot days, laughter, smiles from strangers, Jack Johnson, comedy shows, pink bubbly, purring cats, hope.

Additional, more drastic measures too of course. This may be the time to start looking for an assistant – even if it is remote for now. It’s also time to get realistic with those deadlines. More weekend, less stress.

It’s going to take a lot of effort and energy, and I’m not sure where that will come from. But however I do it, one thing is for sure. I need to find that balance again, and soon.

Today, I finally got it done. Behold… tattoo number 10!

Tattoo number 10!

The new tattoo is the Thai character ‘khomut’, which is used to indicate the end of a story. Being a fan of hidden meanings, this appealed to me… after all, I have come to the end of yet another phase in life, and what better way to mark the start of a new phase then a new tattoo? Also, it is a great addiction to my current collection of Thai numerals.

My ink collection is now nicely rounded off to 10. A good even number me thinks! What are the previous 9 you may be wondering? Have a look… (keeping in mind that some of these pics are very old!)

1. Taurus symbol - cos that's what I am!

2. Thai numeral - 5 (my lucky number)

3. Hammerhead - I love sharks, what can I say?

4. Heart - the only big ink I have (with monkeys!)

5. Thai numerals - 1980 (my birth year)

6. Star (my sister got a matching one on her collarbone too)

7. Stars - behind the ear

8. Star (a 30th birthday present from the lovely Chris Mills!)

9. Heart - behind the other ear

An old co-worker may have described my tattoos as being like ‘stickers on a teenage girl’s notebook’, but I love my small scale approach. Each one of those tattoos has a story, and with my new one, there is a sense of linking those stories and all the phases I have been through over the years.

Here’s to the start of a fabulous new year… and a fabulous new tattoo to kick things off to the right start!

P.S. I put this post together on Sunday. It took over an hour to hunt down old pics, but was fun taking a trip down tattoo memory lane!

I finished last year on a burnt out note – literally. Exhausted, over-worked, unhappy yet hopeful. Somewhere on the amazing NYE spent in Piketberg with family and very old friends, maybe even before we cracked open the Moet, I decided that the next year would be different. While 2011 was not without it’s challenges (some of them almost too big to process), it was certainly different.

So without getting all retrospective and pensive about the year that was, instead I would rather look back on some of the best moments of this crazy, interesting ‘growth’ year… in no particular order.

A Few 2011 Highlights

* Getting my very first set of business cards
* Finally going shark cage diving
* Getting a Kindle
* Getting a washing machine
* Watching my hair finally start to grow, and changing colour often
* Going back to muaythai and starting yoga (even if I never stuck to either!)
* Vampire books
* Lost, American Horror Story and Breaking Bad
* Growing my business
* My amazing clients
* Client office party at Moyo
* Mangoritas at Cactus
* Getting a new heart tattoo behind my ear
* Redecorating my lounge
* Getting a wonderfully kitsch, authentic Trechikoff print
* Oysters
* Midnight sushi indulgence
* Yankee candles
* Great friends
* Epic shopping trips
* Letting go of a life’s worth of baggage
* Learning how to smile, even when things are shitty

There were many other highlights of course – I am on full holiday mode at the moment, and these were the best I could think of in my current blissfully dazed state.

A lot to look forward to in 2012, and although I am happy to finish off this year, I think it has been a big one in many ways. Hope you all have a fabulous NYE, and may the year ahead be all sorts of epic!

Today, I found out that one of the Aghmat brothers passed away last Sunday. Zakkie was 16, and had been a fixture on Long Street for as far as I can remember. I’m glad I heard the news from my sister – it was marginally easier hearing the news from someone who loved him.

I met Zakkie and his brother Mogamat about 7 years ago, through my sister. She was working on Long Street at the time, and had ‘adopted’ these brothers. She would take them home and feed them, take them to Long Street Baths for swimming and do what she could to help with their social workers and family. They bought her presents – a tortoise they had ‘found’, and later, a kitten they had rescued, which my parents still have.

Hard Knock Life

While Mogamat grew as the years went by, Zakkie still looked like the same 9 year old he was when I met him. Small, scruffy, and always hiding his hands in jerseys that were much too long – even in summer. I once asked him about that, and he blushed and told me that he was embarressed by his mangled hands. When he was wearing shoes, they were always falling apart. They got stolen so often it was easier for him to go barefoot.

Despite their challenges, and despite a lifetime on the streets, Zakkie and his big brother would always have a smile for those who knew them. If you were their friend, you would get security – whether you were walking to your car on Long, or walking home after dark from Kloof. They never asked for anything – only a bit of company and a chat. Even when it was clear that Zakkie was using crack, and even when he was clearly out of it, he was still the same smiling, cheeky-faced kid he was before.

The Face of Cape Town’s Street Children

Last I heard, Mogamat had a fairly secure job and was doing well. Zakkie on the other hand, was just never made for this life. I would see him more and more often – he was one of the little gang of kids who often slept at the end of my road in the Bo Kaap.

Those kids broke their former social worker’s heart, and anyone who knew them understood why. It was them who inspired me to find out more about the Homestead Projects, and them who inspired me to support the Western Cape Street Children’s Forum. I knew it was a long shot that both of them would make it out of the streets, but even so, it is gut-wrenching to hear that little Zakkie lost his battle against his hard life.

Zakkie has become the face of Cape Town’s street child epidemic. It may have been too late for him, but there are still so many other kids just like him out there. They may not have won over so many hearts as Zakkie did, but they still need our help.

How You Can Help Kids Like Zakkie

* Don’t give them money – this only makes the cycle worse
* Visit the Homestead and learn more about the amazing work they do with street kids
* Visit the Western Cape Street Children’s Forum and find out more about current projects
* Educate yourself on what to do and what not to do
* Don’t treat these kids like they don’t exist – they are OUR problem, not someone else’s problem
* Start talking to the kids you meet – get their names and let them know someone cares

While many people who knew Zakkie will be grieving for a long time, I hope that his story will have a happy ending. If even one person takes something from this tragedy, then Zakkie will not have died in vain.

Farewell Zakkie… I’m glad I had the chance to know you, and I hope you knew how many people cared about you.