*please also admire this wonderful video of random images and occasional relevant Gwen pics*

I’ve always been a Gwen fan, but lately I’ve been giving her a lot of play – Underneath it All is one of my favourite songs, for its lyrics and its sexy regae vibes and its somehow endearingly sweet take on things. It reminds me of Led Zeppelin’s D’yer Mak’er (which Sheryl Crow never quite managed to pull off).

Another one of my favourite Gwen songs is Cool. Adore the video, love the song and just love the way Gwen looks – beautiful song all round!

Of course, she also happens to be married to rock god Gavin Rossdale. While I can’t hate her too much, the lady does seem to lead a rather charmed life! *sigh*

spring has almost sprung...

Well, I might have a cold and this weather may not be all sunshine and warm breezes, but spring is finally almost here, and with it comes a fresh wave of change and inspiration! One of the biggest things to happen this month is my return to freelance – once again, I am back to working in my pajamas, in a comfortable, relaxed atmosphere, good music, plenty of tea and the sound of the Signal Hill Farm horses whinnying away.

Even so, it hasn’t quite sunk in yet – going to sleep at night, there’s still that vague sense of feeling like I am forgetting something, and although I am already sleeping so much better, still feels a bit strange. In a good way of course.

Other earth-shattering (and not so shocking) changes include the following:

* I have decided to ease up on the coffee. This means no more espresso, which is a sad, sad thought – even though I know it’s for the best.
* I have organised my workspace and my cupboards will follow suit soon. A new start means a new approach, no more paper mountains and junk polluting my space – time to get organised!
* I am saying NO to negative thoughts, people and vibes. I have had about all the stress I can take, now it’s time to focus on good thoughts, good people and good vibes – zero tolerance for bullshit.

It’s not a huge list, but for me – these are my biggest goals for this month ahead. After a supremely horrible winter, it’s time to turn those frowns upside down and focus on the AWESOME.

And that my friends, is how we spring into spring.

“This whole bloodsucking world is a clusterfuck”

Well, I don’t know about y’all, but my Monday has included root canal, wrapping up work, frustrating rewrites, no solid food, silly annoyances and very little sleep. On the plus side, myprodol and merlot is proving to be an effective zen booster, even if I can still feel my poor violated jaw through the painkillers.

True Blood reruns, couch and yoghurt is as good as it gets right now, and at least the painkillers are making me feel chilled out. Tomorrow is my last day at work (YAY!), we are going to have a nice lunch, and then it’s comedy later.

So what if I’m going to be on myprodol from here on out until this jaw eases… as long as I can eat real food again tomorrow, it’s all good.

Lately, it feels like I’m a tumble weed, drifting along in a daze, only to be swept up with a gust of wind. There has been so much uncertainty for a change-hating Taurus like me, and what I am fine with one day is quite often what I may be freaking out over the next. Yup, it has been quite a bumpy ride these past weeks, and with so much change on the way, I guess all that I can really do is to look inward to find the bearings I so need to steady me during this final rough patch.

A frightening panic attack on Tuesday was repeated again on Saturday – again, without much warning, but after indulging in rather too much coffee. This has made me realise that much as I adore espresso and coffee in general, it may not be the best idea right now. Being calm and focusing on the good things is what I need right now – friends, dresses, fun, new places, new adventures, me time and sunshine… all somehow seem more rewarding than a double espresso. If I tell myself this enough, soon I should feel believe it.

So, in the interest of calm, zen and relaxed Rox in this city, here are some of the things I’m looking forward to the most in this next week and beyond:

* My last two days of full-time work. It still hasn’t sunk in that my dream is finally coming true again… back to the world of freelancing, working from home in pajamas, crazy deadlines and flexible time. Cannot. Friggin. Wait.

* Mid-morning gym or mid-afternoon runs. Perhaps I will even start doing Pilates in the mornings again, or take a boxing class. Whatever I do, this is a hugely important thing and I am determined to get back my energy and motivation.

* Working on my horror, which is becoming the proverbial elephant in the room. If I can even get halfway by the end of the year, that will be something, but this effing book has GOT to get going – the story has to be told before I (literally!) lose the plot.

* Reconnecting my inspiration and motivation. I’m starting an awesome project next month, writing about things I love, with a lot of research and a chance to find my inspiration again after months of uninspired, churned out garbage.

* Surrounding myself with awesome people, things and vibes. Friends who have been here lately, even when I haven’t been easy to be around, things and people that make me happy, pretty colours, pretty fabric, pretty clothes and splashes of colour to boost my mood… this is what my Spring will be about – rejuvenation across the board!

But right now, I need to go and put on a pretty dress and get ready for a champagne brunch with the lovely DT, to take in some sunshine and some claps and giggles.

Bon Sunday y’all, and here’s to a refreshing Spring ahead!

pina colada under the microscope: tres awesome!

Well my darlings, the time has finally come – today is my Final Full-Time Friday! I’m a bit all over the place this week, and while there have been some very crappy bits (including a scary panic attack on Tuesday and then breaking a tooth yesterday – meaning a dentist mission today, eek!)… there have also been some fab bits.

Highlights of the week (and highlights upcoming this weekend) include:

* Comedy at Zula on Monday (seeing our buddy Blade go through to the next round was especially rad!)
* Lovely dinner and bubbly at Harveys @ Winchester Mansions with DT, Alice and Chris (shitty service aside, lovely place!)
* Finding the most beautiful vintage leather bag at the Church Street Antique Market yesterday (see my post over here).
* Work farewell this afternoon at Fat Cactus (hopefully by 4pm I will be able to drink frozen margaritas – dentist trip is at lunchtime!)
* Very possibly going to my first 27Dinner afterwards – assuming I am in any state fit enough to network after the farewell.
* A lovely lunch at Beluga tomorrow with lovely people… this means I get to enjoy delish oysters and ice cold bubbly or yummy cocktails!
* Some party party at The Fez on Saturday night with my soon to be former work BFF, his GF and other work types and other types.
* Payday weekend… say no more!

Perhaps I will swing past Wardrobe or The Lot tomorrow morning to find a bright, beautiful dress for Saturday night. After all, it’s going to be an awesome weekend so I need an awesome dress to match right?

Horror #1 - Martyrs

Horror #1 was Martyrs, a French new wave horror by Pascal Laugier. French new wave extremity is trending in a big way internationally, but in France they have yet to see the appeal of highly disturbing movies. The filming, the acting, the storyline and the message are unreal – the kind of movie that you think of long after it’s finished. The movie tells the story of Lucie, a young girl who was held hostage and tortured as a child. She is taken to an orphanage, where she meets Anna. 15 years later, she goes into the home of a seemingly normal family and shoots them all dead – as it turns out, for good reason. I won’t say more than that, but I will tell you that you will NEVER be able to work out the twist, in fact you will unlikely be able to work it out totally, even after watching it. Much as the Twilight producer thinks that he can make a dumbed down American version, this is one movie that can never be remade – see the original NOW before it is butchered!

Horror #2 - Antichrist

Horror #2 was Antichrist, a gem produced by Danish film legend Lars von Trier. This one is in English, and has Willem Dafoe in the male lead and Charlotte Gainsbourg in the female lead. I have never seen such a beautifully filmed movie, especially not a horror, and this one just totally blew me away. Set in four chapters, with a prologue and an epilogue, the movie tells the tale of a man and woman coming to terms with the loss of their child. There are some pretty graphic scenes (let’s just say that Willem Dafoe had a penis double!), and some extremely upsetting and disturbing scenes that will not doubt offend many people. But if you like super intense art house horrors that are loaded with symbolism, exquisite filming and haunting plots, then this is a must-see!

I don’t think I can say which is better, because both were incredible. In some ways, these were more hectic than A Serbian Film, because they are more than just shock horrors… they are thinking movies, that broaden the mind and warp your soul. For really realz.

If anyone can recommend something to top these, bring it on. But right now, I think I have pretty much hit new levels of mind adjustment.

Awesomeness.

my new wallpaper - doesn't get more awesome than this.

I have been quite unable to sit still today – after a busy weekend (and a bit of a mehish Saturday spent working my afternoon away), I feel rested and zenned out… also, this is my last full week of office work before I embark on my freelance adventures again.

It’s been a scary time, and one of the most stressful times of my life in many ways – so much uncertainty, and a feeling of isolation and downright, imobolising fear that has a nasty way of jumping me when I least expect it, making my chest close up and my brain freeze with the “I can’t do this” thoughts on repeat. Scary stuff indeed!

But on the other side of that, there have also been some great moments… shoe sales, beautiful things, incredible avant garde horror movies (Martyrs and Antichrist – reviews coming soon!), fun dinners, insane nights out, pretty boys, prettier dresses, delicious noms, good wines, good company, epic series slumming, plenty of claps and giggles… the stuff that makes you remember what life is really about. That has been what has kept me going – filling the doubts and fear with laughter and self-indulgence!

And so, as the end of one era comes, the start of a new one begins next week. I have no idea what the future holds just yet, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared shitless, but I feel excited at the thought of a new adventure, and I have a feeling that this time, everything that I have wanted is going to come into place.

Average and safe just isn’t going to cut it anymore. Here’s to living life at full throttle, my way or the highway… and living La Vida Lipstick, the Roxilla way!

God I love this song. Although Revelry strikes more of a cord lately. I dunno… KOL just always hits that note for me lately, and I’ve been listening to Only By The Night quite a lot.

It’s almost Friday, I don’t know what to say or what I’m doing – I’m getting my culture on with a show at The Baxter, and maybe showing face at a Tequila Tweet Up. I’m in a weird phase right now… selfish, detached and rather unemotional. Don’t get me wrong, it’s kinda awesome – I’m focusing on myself right now, and that’s exactly how I want things. I

When I say that I’m a heartless bitch right now, I’m not joking. Believe it if you want, ask my friends – think I’m joking. I’m just trying to be honest here. Anything that happens from here on out is not my problem. You have been warned.

The days are getting warmer, the scent of jasmine is in the air, fashion is getting louder and prettier, and the tourists are slowly coming back. I don’t care what any of y’all haters say… Spring is SO in the air, even if it’s not going to be here officially for another month or so!

Spring is without a doubt my favourite time of year, and for good reason. Balmy weather and friskiness in the atmosphere aside, it’s the most beautiful month in the Cape – wildflowers, green grassy fields, wispy white clouds and clear air abounds, and everywhere you look there are people in florals, pinks, greens and other awesome happy colours. The days are longer, and afternoons are just right for whittling away the hours in the sun with a frozen margarita or two, or strolling around Kloof Street enjoying the vibes. Then there are the spring sales… ooh la la!

I’ve been getting into the whole spring vibe with some splashes of colour… berry nails, emerald green knitted shrugs, candy pink mini-cardis, floral dresses worth of Sookie Stackhouse, bright pink cardigans, cute tops, watermelon lipgloss, colourful accessories and soon, I intend to add purple heels and a brightly coloured beret into the mix. I may even dig out my pink espadrilles and favourite embroided suede wedges soon too.

Glorious colour, an extra spring in my step, a renewed focus and best of all… a fresh start. I have a feeling that September might just be a good one.

And I just can’t keep living this way
So starting today, I’m breaking out of this cage
I’m standing up, Imma face my demons
I’m manning up, Imma hold my ground
I’ve had enough, now I’m so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now

~ Eminem – Not Afraid

It’s Friday, and I don’t know about y’all but I haven’t been this happy to see the weekend since, well… last Friday. But really, it’s been a lousy week and I’ve been holding it together by focusing on the little things – one self-indulgent treat at a time. Tonight fun things are in the works, possibly even a Patron Party at the new Fez (Patron and party in the same sentence? How can I resist?!). I have beautiful nails after splurging on an expensive but utterly divine bottle of OPI ‘Ate Berries in the Canaries’ polish – they look so good, I am spoiled off cheap polish for life!

Also, I am getting my crucial caffeine fix – after an entire day without coffee on Wednesday, I have had to face up to the fact that I *may* have a minor problem with caffeine – not getting it that is! I was ready to strangle someone, and life just felt super unfair. Thursday saw much of the same old shit, but at least I’d had my Vida and my midday espresso. These things help you know!

Before I totally forget what I wanted to say – I can’t get enough of Eminem’s Not Afraid. Right now it feels like a bit of an anthem for me, and the video gives me goosebumps. Nothing quite like that point of feeling your old self return, and while I know I am not quite out of the slump fully, I am feeling tougher somehow. I’m learning how to man up. And that, my darlings, is quite awesome indeed.

Bon weekend everybody!