So this dude was basically walking around with a blindfold over his eyes, being led by what I can only assume to either be a level 1 bergie (or just a rather ‘under the weather’ fellow).

the blind drunk leading the blind crazy?

We still have no idea if this oke was really blind, just blind drunk, blind crazy or blind stupid – it’s hard to tell in this area. Nevertheless, it was still pretty entertaining watching them navigate the mid-morning Kloof Street chaos.

making their way up to Lifestyles on Kloof to cause more mayhem

It’s sightings like these that make the work day go quickly – awehness indeed.

The other day at lunchtime we spotted this little act of kindness on the Park and Kloof Street corner. A very very old lady was being assisted by one of the local car guards – who even helped carry her shopping. They were met by her gentleman friend, where the trio made their way slowly over Park Road and onto Kloof again.

Please enjoy this awesome moment as it unfolded…

car guard notices little old lady struggling, and comes to assist

her gentleman friend joins them and they steer her towards the road

getting to the half way mark

and we're almost there!

Precious!

fan guy bringing the gees

Being sick and having had one of the worst days ever, I was intent on going home to watch. Co-workers managed to persuade me otherwise luckily, and we headed across the road to Cactus where we had the best seats – outside, under the heater, directly by the window with the big screen in sight. There were some Frenchmen across from us (lord knows what they thought of the comments, but anyhoo!) and locals everywhere. Not quite as manic as Long Street, but it was perfect. One or two of us then headed down to Long, after a quick detour to feed cats. Jumped queues, packed balconies, fan guy and friends, and you get the general idea. It wasn’t a late one, and while today was rough and my poor throat was wrecked from cheering, I am glad I can say that I was there when Bafana beat France.

What a game, what an event… what a month. Eish!

Friday saw the kick off of the SWC, and with no work done all day (not to mention an hour long power cut on Kloof Street) we finally got out at 1pm. Holly met me outside my office, and after a quick carbo load at Nandos we headed down to Long Steet. The vibe was incredible, fans everywhere, vuvus going non stop, loads of happy people, bars and balconies overloaded… such a vibe. We got to Neighbourhood, where we had luckily gotten a private room at the back (thanks to my lovely bosses!). The rest of the gang from work rocked up with assorted buddies, then Blade rolled up, and while we did have some gate crashers, it only added to the vibe.

private room @ hood

After a drink or two, we watched the opening ceremony, which had me clapping in delight – really just blew me away, whatever the haters want to say. Every time Tutu came on, the entire building cheered, and much laughter was had when R Kelly came on too. The whole thing was so Ayoba and South African, I loved it!

the balcony party gets underway

Meanwhile on the balcony, a massive party was going down – there was impromptu drumming an a vuvuzela band blowing in time to the drums, much shoza loza and national anthem singing, a huge deal of foot stamping and jumping – so much that the balcony was shaking! The back bar was the perfect place to get in on the action outside and still see the TV. Once the game started for realz, we squeezed back inside to watch Bafana defend their asses off. I will admit sheepishly that we *may* have been outside drinking during the second half – but I watched bits through the door. Also, with huge queues for the ladies bathroom, we also got to watch on the big screen in the main dining area.

long street gees!

By the time the game had drawn 1:1, the balcony was where it was all going down. Tequila was had, vuvuzela’s were blown, and down on Long Street, the gees was off the charts. Fans flooded the street from the top to the bottom, with South Africans, French, Nigerian and many others joining the action on the street. At one point a little boy did an awesome little soccer presentation with his ball, with other fans joining in. The atmosphere was so amazing, with no bad vibes at all – just incredible happiness and GEES!

nigerian fan procession

One of my favourite bits was the procession of Nigerian fans, who had a traditional witch doctor type with them, plus drums and dancing and the whole shebang. Watching them coming down Long just took my breath away, it was incredible to see! They stopped outside for a while, and we got to watch from the balcony – not even the videos I took quite captured the moment!

From that point on, things started getting a little manic. Some friends joined us, more tequila was had, and eventually at some point I had decided I’d had enough, and I was determined to walk home. Holly wouldn’t let me walk alone luckily, but with so many people it was just like town on a typical lunch time, so was all good (even if my feet were killing me by the time we got to my hill). Walking up sans hangover was a bonus on Saturday morning!

It has only just begun really, and with some exciting games ahead, I’m amped for the next month. Besides, with so many hot tourists in the city, it’s like summer in Cape Town, but even more so… loving it!

I hope your World Cup moment was awesome wherever you were in the world, and I hope that this feVAH hits each of us big time!

It is HERE, feeeel it!

Lance Davids – #7

Lance Davids

Look at that gorgeous face – he is just adorable! Lance plays midfield, and wears the #7 top. At 25 he’s just a baby, but having been discovered by former Bafana Bafana coach Stuart Baxter in 2004 at the age of just 18, he’s had plenty of experience. Watch him because… that smile has dimples, I am sure of it!

MacBeth Sibaya – #6

MacBeth Sibaya

MacBeth is now my new favourite name, I wish I had thought of that when I got my kitten! Also, he has killer dreads and a cool attitude. MacBeth made his debut for for the national team nine years ago in a FIFA World Cup™ qualifier against Malawi. Watch him because… he looks like he would be fun to party with!

Teko Modise – #11

Teko Modise

Ok, maybe he’s not quite a Ronaldo or the French god… but our boy Teko is one of Bafana’s hottest players, and he is going to be one to watch throughout the World Cup. Despite falling out of grace during the Confed Cup, he is still a brilliant player, and hopefully the SWC will bring him back to glory once again! Watch him because… he is one of the top players on the squad.

Matthew Booth – #14

Mathew Booth

There’s no way you will miss this defender on the field – firstly, he’s the only white guy on the team, secondly he’s huge and thirdly, he plays defense. Much-loved by every South African, Booth is the boy wonder who is bringing the team much-needed energy and oomph. Watch him because… he’s going to stop the other guys from scoring!

Anele Ngongca – #5

Anele Ngcongca

Another defender, Anele is one of the team’s important players – keeping the other team from scoring and tackling to the death. At only 22, he is a bit of a ‘mystery man’ but has slowly shown his potential to be a national team gem with talent and composure. Watch him because… he’s going to kick ass and take names (and also, he looks like Simon Webb from Blue, kinda, hehe).

Well, I know who MY favourite favourite is… who is yours?

P.S. You can check out the full FIFA SWC squad list for the full team.

The boss is letting us off at 1pm on Friday AND he’s organised a section at Neighbourhood. So I will be watching the kick off at my favourite place, with great people, in the greatest city on Earth. If that isn’t reason enough to go crazy and get swept away by SWC Fever, than fuck, I don’t know! And for all the haters who don’t want to join in, you are missing out on the chance to celebrate one of the biggest events for this country EVER.

Here are some pics from today’s ‘gees’ awesomeness…

Yes, I look like I’m smoking the damn thing, and yes, I also look like I’m about to pass out. It’s harder than it looks though, especially with one hand! I still need to work on my vuvu skills, but I’m getting there.

Where were you during the Vuvuzela Moment, and where will you be on Friday?

I am quite a soccer fan, and compared to almost all other sports, soccer is one of the few games that I can watch on my own easily. I love the game for many reasons… the excitement, fast-paced action, intense battles to defend and score… and let’s be honest, the players. To make things easier for all the ladies out there who are wondering which teams to watch, I have compiled this handy World Cup 2010 Guide.

Italy: Fabio Cannavaro

Fabio Cannavaro

I doubt there is a lady out there who doesn’t know who the Italian captain is, and as last World Cup’s champions, the Italian team are even more important to watch. All you need to know about Italy is that they have the hottest players. Don’t believe me? Check out the famous shoot from the 2006 World Cup. Things to say to Fabio: “permítame ver su kleins de calvin” (let me see your Calvin Kleins).

Spain: Fernando Torres

Fernando Torres

This Liverpool golden boy has quite a Becks vibe, with hot tattoos and hair bands. A killer on the field, he’s also rather dishy off field. There’s nothing quite like blond haired, blue eyed boys from Spain… especially with the regal features. Things to say to Torres: “tendré a sus bebés” (I will have your babies).

Portugal: Cristiano Ronaldo

Cristiano Ronaldo

One of soccer’s biggest stars, and former Man U secret weapon, this Real Madrid hottie needs no introduction. Sexy, charismatic and a dream to watch on the field, he will be owning it for Portugal in a big way! Things to say to Ronaldo: “Perdi meu urso de peluche, dormirá comigo esta noite?” (I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me tonight?)

USA: Benny Feilhaber

Benny Feilhaber

Born in Brazil, Benny moved to the US when he was six. A whizz on the field, he is also rather easy on the eye (what is it with boys from Brazil, sheesh!). He plays midfielder, both for the US national team and some arb Danish team. Things to say to Benny: “….” (I don’t you about you, but I would just stare mindlessly, hehe).

France: Yoann Gourcuff

Yoann Gourcuff

Seriously?! This French god will be pulling me to every game that France plays, even if they totally suck! I can’t even begin to try and pronounce his name but my dodgy French *may* help a teeny bit, haha. Things to say to Yoann: “Me prendre avec vous, s’il vous plaît!” (take me with you, please!)

Serbia: Zoran Toši?

Zoran Toši?

Well now, I would totally not say no to being a mail order bride for this one. At only 22 years old, this rising Man U star is also quite a valuable addition to the Serbia team. What we need to know though is that he plays left wing, and he’s hot with a silent J. Things to say to Zoran: “…” (translation tool broke, clearly the things I want to say are not suitable for public opinion, hehe)

South Korea: Lee Chung Yong

Lee Chung Yong

He’s hot, he’s Asian and he’s only 21. Bolton’s South Korean midfielder is turning a lot of heads, both on and off the field. Hard to believe how young he is, but with that cool composition, he will be one to watch. Things to say to Lee: “pick me, pick me!”.

(part 2 coming soon – watch this space!)

level 4, possibly 3

In light of the World Cup, which is just 14 days away, I thought this would be as good a time as any to share the unofficial bergie rating system as classified by my co-worker and work BFF Dunnyone.

Level 1: starter bergie
Level 2: robot bergies
Level 3: cagaads (must be drunk)
Level 4: bin bergies, drunk
Level 5: drunk, with plastic bag shoes/no shoes
Level 6: drunk, with trolley and a friend, and legs
Level 7: drunk, with a kart and a dog, and legs (usually a crutch too)
Level 8: legless, with a wheelchair/crutch or at least a trolley and a friend to push him
Level 9: legless, no wheelchair, no trolley, but has fingers and clothes, and maybe a friend
Level 10: the bergie lady at Cape Town Station, who has no legs, no fingers, no wheelchair and often, no clothes

While most of our bergies are relatively harmless, generally the more agile and drunk they are, the more dangerous they may be. If you wish to help the homeless on our streets, visit www.myggsa.co.za to find an organisation that deals with the homeless.

the epic winter mornings are still amazing

park street is still entertaining

but now you can get ass cupcakes @ spar

Today at lunch I ran into Blade, then got a glimpse of Ninja and his chick aka Die Antwoord crew. Have to love Kloof Street!

P.S. Judging by the increase in hot tourist boys in town lately, looks like the FIFA influx is beginning. Awesome.

City Pig: a regular in my hood

After reading Brazen’s account of the maggots, I was inspired to do a round up of all the disgusting, weird, bizare and just plain wtf things I’ve seen around this city in the few years I’ve been living in these ghettos. Some are disturbing, others are amusing, some are even quite cool. Sadly, I don’t always have a camera present (this will chance when I get my Blackberry next month, yay) so I lack photos to back up the weird sightings. Nevertheless, as anyone who lives in the city can attest, you see some weird shiz around here.

So in no particular order, here are some of the things seen around the city…

* City Pig who escapes from the Military Road farm
* Goats from the farm on the abandoned lots on Upper Buitengragt
* Giant squashed rats in the road
* Giant dead blue rats in the road
* Bald, tattooed men with breast implants and piercings at Lola’s
* Car bumpers sellotaped to lamp posts
* Palm trees with no leaves or anything aside from trunks
* Police horses on a daily basis
* Firetrucks on a weekly basis
* Cars crashed into palm trees on Buitenkant
* The Egg Man on Greenmarket Square
* The roaming Ethiopian around Loop
* Dead (shot/stabbed) guy on Upper Buitengragt
* Bergie-in-a-box aka Sophie on Upper Buitengragt
* The elusive and infamous Bo Kaap ice cream truck
* The not-so-elusive and infamous drive by snoek bakkie
* Tiny puzzle pieces scattered across New Church
* Hot topless tourist guys weekly on Buitengragt/New Church
* Film crew turning the old Mountain View Cafe on Long into a Parisian flower shop
* The Bo Kaap street kid drumming band

Here’s the thing about the city, while not all may share my love for the messed up dodginess and grime, for me, the weirdness goes hand in hand with the energy, diversity and the constant noise – from firetrucks in my road, to the streetkids making a racket outside, and the cacophony of Long Street at night… it’s both comforting and inspiring all at once.

It may be a different city and a different vibe, but Empire State of Mind sums it up quite well really. The lights will make you feel brand new indeedio.

In other news, this city is cooking to the depths of hell as we enter the millionth day of this heatwave in Cape Town. Surreal stuff.