Roxilla

Men are funny creatures sometimes, while they may know a lot (or think they know a lot) and be able to do stuff like fix stuff and whatnot, there are just some things they will never get.

1. Ugly Betty

I know one guy who watches this (and as far as I know he’s straight). The rest of them can’t figure out it all. Like many women I know, I absolutely adore this show – the one-liners are priceless (’seeing eye gay’ will make me laugh for the rest of the week), the characters are awesome and it always keeps me entertained. Even at its most OTT, it’s just a total chick fest.

2. Titanic

Another chick flick, action and violence is just not enough to take attention off the Celine Dion soundtrack, beautiful love story, and slit-my-wrists sad scenes.

3. ghd

The only exception to this rule is guys who own one themselves. I have a few straight guy friends who own one, the ones who don’t just can’t quite grasp the power and significance of these tools. Once you tell them it’s like Xbox for chicks, they get the drift, but it’s still lost on them.

4. Shoes

Men have maybe three pairs – slops, sneakers and going out shoes. Maybe a few more pairs if they are bordering on the metro vibe. Women on the other hand generally have a closet full of shoes, half of which they have hardly ever worn. As a rule, the more impractical the shoe, the more a woman will want it, and learning how to walk in heels is something many of us master early in life. We wear heels to work, we wear them on Long Street mayhem – to dodgy places and swanky ones. Generally, a man’s reaction to this is ‘how do you walk around in those’. ‘Nuff said.

5. Skirts vs. dresses

The only time a man will know the difference is if he has a) been raised in a household of sisters or b) been in a long-term relationship. Beyond this, anything that is not jeans or shorts is either a skirt or a dress, but they are never quite sure which, exactly.

6. Soapies

Trying to watch Isidingo or any other soapie with a man is the equivalent of a women watching a sport she can’t stand with a man. Pointless and boring and just not worth attempting.

7. Weight issues

This is something that women maybe don’t get, rather than men. We spend so much time worrying about diets, gym and how we look in whatever we’re wearing that men eventually get tired of hearing about it. Not only is it pointless to bitch about stuff like this, but it’s also only making things worse. They don’t get why we don’t see what they see, so surely we need to start seeing this too?

8. Gossip

There are always exceptions to the rule, but most guys I know either don’t know, don’t care, or prefer not to say. Women have a natural tendency to talk however, and while some are worse than others, I know very few women who can resist a bona fide juicy bit of gossip – especially if it has to do with an old high school enemy.

9. Signals

Seriously, even the hardcore ‘game’ experts and major players out there get this one wrong. Simple fact: men will always assume a women is interested, even if she is not. Women on the other hand will always assume a man ISN’T interested, whether he is or not. Unless it gets to the stage where it’s pretty hard to miss, men are terrible at getting this right.

10. The Game

Even the masters get it wrong sometimes. Generally, guys fall into a couple of categories on the game front. The players, who think they know what they are doing; the subtle players, who like to act like they have no game, but actually end up playing it better than the masters; and the non-players, who are either straight up guys who don’t need tactics, or shy guys who have less game than Aquila Nature Reserve but often get it right by sheer fluke. From what I have seen, it’s all hit and miss though, so ultimately it’s less about skill and more about attitude and luck.

But their little quirks and whatnot make them entertaining, I have to say. I have a good mixture of guy and girl friends, and that gives me the perfect balance.