Roxilla

“But who can say what’s best? That’s why you need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much. My experience tells me that we get no more than two or three such chances in a life time, and if we let them go, we regret it for the rest of our lives.”
~ Haruki Murakami (Norwegian Wood)

It’s starting to sink in at last. Things that have been said, things that have crossed the line, too much gone wrong and too damaged to try and fix. Much as this is killing me, I know it’s for the best. That doesn’t make it any easier though, and I can’t help replaying all those memories in my head. I am missing that man already, and time (and perhaps wine and friends and distraction) is pretty much the only remedy here.

In time, I know that I can try again. Putting myself out there was never a bad thing, heartbreak or not, I have no regrets. I know I have a lot to give, and I know that I can get this right one day. I’m not going to let this put me off trying, and I am determined to still believe that happy ever after does exist. It wasn’t right this time, but one day it will be.

One hour at a time, that’s how I’m taking it. Mope music, red wine, work, gym, friends, parties, pretty dresses and maybe a tattoo… small consolations for not seeing those green eyes, but consolations nonetheless. I’ve been planning my social diary like it’s no one’s business and my wonderful friends are not taking no for an answer and will not let me wallow.

For now, Spier Discover Red, Van Damme and then Bram Stoker’s Dracula – distraction and comfort, Monday will bring a whole new life, a whole new perspective, a whole new week. And then December starts, I have my advent calender and plenty of fun things to look forward to. Certainly not going to have time to mope!

C’est la vie, phew.