Spawn of satan baring its fangs
Well, it’s Friday again. But I just don’t have the zen levels or energy to pretend that it’s fabulous or frivolous, so it’s not going to much of a fun post today.
In a rare show of relent, the universe threw me a lifeline yesterday afternoon, during my lowest state in a while. I was really feeling like hell, and then all of a sudden my sister sms’d me out of the blue to tell me she was on her way down to Cape Town for a few days.
Although beer and balcony yesterday evening helped to ease my stress a bit, reality has to kick in eventually. I have been doing a lot of serious thinking about things, and have come to the conclusion that I may not be cut out for freelancing. It has been a lot of fun, and even during the hellish busy stages, I have been really enjoying being my own boss. But sometimes we have to take a step back to move forward, and if that means looking for something more stable for a while, then so be it.
I am heading towards 30, and it’s time that I get myself together now and stopped allowing my dreams to take over. Next year, I am not going to bugger around anymore, and I have a few potential plans in the works that may change my life quite hectically.
I can’t say much more at this point, and I am going to be out of ‘office’ most of the day and hopefully won’t have time to think at all. Just have to take things on a day to day basis, and roll with it I guess.
So here’s to another weekend, and I hope that everyone is having a better time of it than I am.
there’s merit in bravely trying things even if for the moment they don’t work out entirely. at least you’ve got a placeholder for that experience which you can always revisit. when it suits you.
and i wouldn’t panic about turning 30, if you can scribble all of your achievements on the back of a postage stamp when the time comes you’ll be fine. the 20s are not about achievement mainly about foundational experiences that you can draw on, your first 10 years of true independence, so don’t let the unbearable lightness weigh you down.
and your sister arrives.
Thanks dude. Right now, I’m feeling like an utter failure and quitter, but once that settles down I will be able to swallow my pride and try something new.
Life is about change after all, and as you say, it’s all about trying things.
My sister arrived yesterday thank god, that’s gone a long way in fighting that unbearable lightness of being.