Roxilla

If you see a KSD on the street, ignore it

Kloof Street is weird. Cars get onto Kloof, and will instantly drive like retards, and the people around here aren’t much better. Working and living around here, I get to see the regulars… some of which are the Kloof Street Druggies (KSD), who just never get it right.

Today I took a stroll down to Kauai, and on my way back, I heard the pitiful cry of the KSD: ‘Sorry, m’aam, m’aam, sorry to bother you’, and threw him a scowl instead of telling him to fuck off like I usually do – it was Sunday after all, and I was pretty chilled out. Anyway, so how do I know that this was a KSD? Simple, these losers can be spotted a mile away, before they open their mouths to make their trademark pitch. Nervous, agitated behaviour? Check. Dingy clothes? Check. Dark circles and skeletal look? Check. Then they talk their stupid talk that gives them away time and time again…

It’s always the same. Start out with a polite ‘M’aam, sorry m’aam’ or variation of (note that repeated sorry and / or m’aam is standard KSD practice), then another sorry and possibly a ‘sorry for bothering you / can I just have a few seconds of your time’ for good measure, and then on to the Story. It’s always the same, and they are too far gone to realise that you have heard it at least once or twice a month, if not more. ‘I’m trying to get home to Somerset West (for some reason this one is always the most popular destination), and I just need Rx for taxi / bus / train.’ Then, if you’ve actually stuck around this long, they throw in another ‘sorry’ and maybe another ‘m’aam’ for kicks.

On Long Street they don’t bother with all these formatilies, they just ask you staight up for money, bugger why they need it, they just want money ok. But on Kloof Street, and Kenilworth come to think of it, they feel the need for a pretense. Mostly because the majority of KSD’s are whities, maybe they feel that they’re too good to just flat out beg, and would rather con.

Whatever the case, the KSD’s piss me off royally, and when I see them pulling their tired old moves on the tourists, I will always go and ruin their chances and tell the tourists that this guy has been stuck here in Cape Town for about a year now if his story is to be believed, and he’ll never get out.

Some may have pity for druggies, but I’ve seen too many people I know die, and a lot of my teenaged years were ruined by my druggie ex, and I know that when they put that needle into their arm, they are basically gone. They will kill their mother, rob their granny and sell themselves to get drugs. They don’t want help, and until they reach that point, they are walking dead.

Moral of the story? If some grotty looking dude stops you in the street, ask yourself – is this a KSD? If it is, tell him to fuck off, because you will not subsidise his drug habit.