Roxilla

WW also hates Mondays

And so another Monday has almost passed by, and boy has it been a long one for me. A long and in some ways, fairly important one.

One thing about spending some down time at home, whether you’re not feeling well or whatever the reason, is that you have a lot of time to process things. I had my fair share of things to process, most of which have been focused on a need for a change in direction, and have also had a few ghosts to lay to rest. Or try to lay the damn things to rest anyway, hard as that is. I’m not sure if I’ve made much progress overall, but today I made the first real step in the direction I want to follow – and that felt comforting.

I would be feeling more sure of myself if it weren’t for this kak sense of disillusionment with the universe though, sjoe. Sometimes it seems like every time I think I understand this crazy world, it changes again and I am left waiting for the punchline of a big cosmic joke that I just don’t get. Not to go all emo and shit, but I’m starting to think that maybe the answer is to stop trying to understand life, and just roll accept it in all it’s wackness – just like I accept my crazy neighbourhood, dead guys and all. Or maybe I should just be like the general masses and just stop thinking at all.

Amidst all this dark musings today though, I did find a few things that made me realise that there is some light in this end of the tunnel. Reading about a Peta chick who is running a 15km marathon to get sponsored for Peta causes was one thing, reading about an HIV positive worker who’d been raped by her boss, and is now using her plight to help others was another. Going for a nice run and seeing my precious mountain looking so perfect was yet another, as was having a nice chat with my crazy grandmother, and getting a nice shout-out on iMod.

So it’s not all bad. I guess sometimes we feel further away from the sun than we really are – and all it takes to remind us is the little things, like coffee and the funny look that Sonic is giving me right now. Finding that zen balance. That is what keeps us together on these Dark Def Leppard Days.

Now if only I’d thought to get some wine and chocolate, that would have been the final soothing touch. Oh well.